An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply.
"For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!

At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.
Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."